Film #14: The Gate (1987)

A giant hole in Glen’s backyard has blown open and started erupting chunky demons and liquid black plumes of pure evil.
No, I’m not describing his morning bathroom visit after a night of Taco Bell, whiskey shots and ill-advised 4 a.m. ice cream.
This demon hole out-back of Glen’s house in 80s movie “The Gate” was caused not by partying but by that scourge of the 1980s parent…curiosity and heavy metal music!
(“Damn kids and their devil music! Opening up portals and summoning demons and what-not and… ahhhhh, hell, I’m taking a nap. ZZZZ.zzz.Zzzzz.)

Glen is just your typical foul-mouthed 80s era 10-year-old. He loves NASA, model rockets, and pissing off his older sister Al’s teenage friends. He even has a rockin’ tree house in his backyard (Lucky!), but one day a storm rolls through and just crushes the hell out of it (Ha-ha!).

After half-price Mexicans remove the singed tree stump on the cheap, Glen and best bud Terry discover that below the former tree lies a mysterious hole. And what else do you do with a dark hole? You explore it, and explore it deep!

The friends find radically rare rocks in the hole, but after busting one open strange happenings begin to occur. It doesn’t help when Terry begins reciting lyrics from his heavy metal albums, one of which just so happens to be based on an ancient book of evil that if read aloud can summon dark overlords to overtake the earth (isn’t that the basis for Scientology?)

Soon evil spirits and crazy stop-motion beasts are pouring out of that backyard crevasse. It’s not a hole at all, but a gateway to the hideous, power-hungry underworld! With Al and Glen’s parents out of town, it is up to the kiddies to save mankind from hell-level destruction in the 1987 kid-thriller “The Gate.”

RDHP Ratings and Reviews

C-Rating: 2.9 out of 5.0

Chris Dimick summons:

“Satan Bless the 80s. What a magical decade for horror, and to be a child. Watching The Gate is like stepping into a Hyper-color time-machine. From the second we pressed play, I felt like I was 8-years-old again – as I was in 1987 – playing hackie sack with my brothers and getting four-inch cuts from my slap-bracelets. If anything, Gen Xers, watch this one not for the scares, but for the serenity of time gone by.

But you gotta love 1980s horror movies for more than just the nostalgia. They were just so innovative, imaginative, and willing to break a few eggs to make that dead fetus omelet.

Horror movies today are just so PC, especially “scary” movies made with a younger audience in mind. The Gate was essentially made for ‘tweens, kids really, yet the content at times is radically hardcore by today's kid-flick standards. One example: Glenn actually watches his father’s face melt off into a puddle as old Dad tries to strangle him to death. What?! This is for kids!

Of course it is for kids, kids love that stuff! Kids that age don’t need to be sheltered. In fact, most of them have seen or heard enough horrors in middle school alone that would make any adult poo their shoe. The 1980s horror movie understood this, and treated their young audience with respect. The movies didn’t pull any punches – because life doesn’t pull any punches. They showed kids how they really were (swear-word spewing a-holes) and didn’t mind if they gave you nightmares following the flick. Actually, that IS the point of a horror movie, isn’t it?! Somehow we have lost our way in the modern age.

Don’t be fooled by my 2.9 rating. It may seem low, but it is just in comparison to all of the other great movies we have watched as part of the RDHP. As a rabid fan of 1980s horror, The Gate had it all: whinny teens with gnarly period clothing; stop motion face-melting; cute yet crazy wicked demons; realistic kids; commentary that heavy metal is actually devil metal.

Best of all, The Gate had an original story that can captivate the kid inside all of us – there is nothing cooler than thinking a wild adventure lurks right in your own backyard. Actually, I believe the latter is an old Boystown pickup line. Hey, to each his own!"

N-Rating: 2.7 out of 5.0

Nick Rich summons:

“Now this movie is just good clean fun; and by 'good' I mean 80s-licious and by 'clean' I mean true to the spirit of that time period. I really enjoyed growing up as a child in the 1980's: there was action, adventure and people just seemed more chill (maybe the constant threat of nuclear annihilation is good for a society - who knew???). The Gate just screamed the 80s - seriously, there were like 15 scenes where pre-pubescent boys were screaming their confused vocal chords off... and I loved every crackling minute of it!

This film was by no means great (I did give it a 2.7 after all). It didn't pioneer any special effects or thrill us with a story that was entirely original, but it did rock the full arsenal of effects available at the time and what the story lacked in basic originality it more than made up for in creative execution. I found myself marveling at the level of effects employed in such a low-key film; it had it all: stop motion, Claymation, animation and latex creature moldings! Say what you will about non-CGI effects, but what they lack in clarity they make up for in texture (you could feel the skin of the big daddy demon at the end of the film - he was amazing!).

I found myself knowing exactly where the story was going but surprised that I was surprised by how I was led there (confusing right?). This film had a magic captured so well by the majority of 80s horror/fantasy films: it felt realistic in spite of its own absurdity. The Gate transported me back to a simpler time and I felt all the richer for it!

The Skinny: If you have a soft spot in your heart for the 80s (i.e. neon apparel, nonsensically styled hair, disturbingly trusting parents) then you owe it to yourself to go digging around the ol' back yard for this gem of a flick."

Things the RDHP Learned from “The Gate”:

-All heavy metal records end with satanic sermons

-Torturing moths is not cruel, it’s “neat”

-“Parents-out-of-town” teen parties always involve telling scary stories

-The Lee sisters make male children puke

-Kids should always know where Dad keeps his gun. They may need it to shoot a demon.

-The Bible can double as a high powered explosive

-Dancing with the family dog can kill it
-Special Edition DVD covers are so special they have characters on it that weren't in the movie:

Treasures buried in the RDHP’s Backyard:

-Golden nuggets

-Fidos 1-4

-"Killed in battle" G.I. Joes (Duke, your dying screams were pathetic)
-Pirate booty
-Stella's "Groove"

-XFL “He Hate Me” Jersey

-Jimmy Hoffa
-Unmailed love letters to Chelsea Clinton

-The Power Sword

-Radio Shack Tandy 1000 PC

-Two dozen hobo skulls

(Special note: Nick was feet away from meeting Chelsea Clinton as a wee lad in London, circa 1995, but he didn't have the guts to profess his love. Now his nights are filled with salty tears. Just kidding, Mel! (No, he's not kidding)

From Cuddly to Fugly:

Actor Stephen Dorff looked so cute in “The Gate,” portraying Glen as a pudgy sweetie pie. One look at his drug-rattled face today makes one cry for the ravages of time. That boy went from Cuddly to Fugly! In Stephen Dorff’s unfortunate honor, a list of other child stars who stopped being cute when their body hair began to sprout...

Stephen Dorff:

Cuddly :)

Fugly :(

The Olsen Twins:

Cuddly :)

 Fugly :(

Macaulay Culkin:

Cuddly :)

Fugly :(

Screech:

Cuddly :)

Fugly :(

Zack and Cody:

Cuddly :)

Fugly :(

Haley Joel Osment:

Cuddly :)

Fugly :(

Danny Bonaduce:

Cuddly :)

Fugly :(

Rainbow Bright:

Cuddly :)

Fugly :(

Quote of the Viewing:

[Glen and Terry harass big sister Al’s friends, saying how gross girls are.]

Nick and Chris in pre-teen squeak voice:
“Ohhh man. Teen girls just have cooties falling out the ying-yang, Terry!”

Cliché Quote of the Viewing:

Chris: “Damn, that is a lot of evil coming out of that hole.”

Nick: “That’s what she said.”

Film #12: Ravenous (1999)

Crackled intercom voice: “Hello and welcome to Fort Spencer, can I take your order?
Drive-thru customer: "Yeahhhhhhhh, I’ve got a couple orders here. Ummm, I’d like ten deep-fried Kristen fingers with honey mustard, two racks of extra bloody Baby Ben ribs, a basket of your King Crab Fishman’s legs, and the Kardashian rump-roast special. Oh! And I’m on a diet, so on the drink I want half Diet Mountain Dew and half regular Dew. Capiche?”
Intercom voice: “Yes sir. Do you want eyes with that?”

This is probably a common conversation at the Fort Spencer drive-thru, the cannibalistic campsite featured in the late '90s movie “Ravenous.” They pack more people in their stomachs at that place than a 5:05 p.m. Red Line train.

But Soylent Green wasn’t always a main staple at the mid-1800s fort, located in the secluded Western Sierra Nevada Mountains. One winter day the fort’s solider skeleton crew found a bearded, feral man passed out outside their cabins. When they revived the man, named F.W. Colqhoun, he told a horrific story of how his covered wagon company got snow-bound in the mountains on their way to California. Unable to pass the mountains, they camped out inside a nearby cave. After running out of food and animals to eat, the starving pioneers resorted to muching the flesh of their dead. But for some reason the more they ate, the hungrier they got. People weren’t croaking fast enough, so the US Army Colonel leading the expedition decided to start eating the living members of the pitiful party. Colqhoun said he narrowly escaped the jaws of death, leaving behind a lone frightened woman with the rabid Colonel.

A lady is in trouble! With that, the soldiers got all heroic and vowed to return to the cave to rescue the lass before she became lunch-meat. But their Indian fort residents didn't like that plan. Seems ancient legend says that when a man eats another person’s flesh, he consumes both their soul and energy, making them more powerful -- and hungry -- than one could imagine. It's like Lay’s potato chips, you can’t eat just one human, and once you've got that sweet sweet meat on your lips you become RAVENOUS with a serious case of food screams!

Arriving at the cave, the rescue party soon realizes Colqhoun’s story doesn’t quite flesh out – and that’s when the true body buffet begins. Cannibals quickly abound at Fort Spencer, and much like a depressed Biggest Loser contestant with a box of hidden sweets, the more the cannibals eat, the more addicted they become. Will anyone put down their second helping of Fred and stop the insanity in the 1999 film “Ravenous”?



The Low Down:
This movie has guts…a string of them, dangling from its mountain man beard. And frankly, that is why we like it so. A viewer goes into this flick expecting the obvious. A film set in the 1850s mountains with pioneers who turn to cannibalism. Okay, it is going to be your standard Donner party meets Alive fare, right? Wrong. Ravenous veers from everything that is cliché in cannibalism, and focuses on the ideology of man-munching itself. It asks, “Would you consume another person if it would not only save your life, but make you powerful beyond imagination?”

Eating humans is such a taboo, it just makes for a great horror movie. Pair that with an original story, and a cast of familiar faces that can actually act, and you have a meaty movie dinner.
But this meal is far from something you’d find at the Stephen Spielberg Chop House. More fittingly, this should appear on the menu at the William White Castle.

The story and plot itself was like a well cooked steak, charred on the surface by violent flames, but with a nice bloody center. However, the entire movie was so coated in cheese that it made this meal hard to swallow. The musical score was thick as Velveeta, with bango-ey backwoods licks inappropriately scoring what should have been serious scenes. Parts of the dialog were overcooked as well, with death scenes being filled with stupid lines like “what you just did there, that was pretty sneaky.”

Then again, there were some unique bursts of flavor from under the cheese blanket. “Funny thing about escape though, chances are you might end up some place worse” says fort leader Col. Hart, delightfully played by the underrated Jeffrey Jones. Jones actually sprinkles in his unique brand of spice throughout this little known role, playing a cannibalistic Colonel with sensitivity, humor and just a dash of sarcasm. Then there is the whole funny commentary about how Manifest Destiny and cannibalism are similar. Sure, it was kooky, but it was also smart.

Don’t go to McDonalds expecting a steak dinner. And don’t go to a cannibal movie expecting a timeless classic. Ravenous delivers what it promises, a satisfying cinematic meal with just enough bite.

RDHP Ratings:
C-Rating: 3.8
Chris Dimick burps: “Oh, you may think Ravenous is just a story. But cannibals do exist, and I’m married to one. One cold winter day me and the little wife, who was the little girlfriend at the time, decided to visit Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry and take in the controversial Body Worlds exhibit. Body Worlds is one of the most insanely creepy, fascinating exhibits in the history of man-- it displays actual human cadavers in various positions and degrees of body deconstruction. All skin has been stripped from the human bodies in order to show how human muscles and organs operate. The exhibit is horrifying, but you can’t seem to look away. It is just something you have never seen before, but yet were so curious about.

We had to buy tickets in advance for this sold out exhibit, and didn’t have time to grab lunch before heading into the death hall. I was hungry walking into the museum, but upon seeing a skinned man literally pulled apart, each body part suspended and free standing by wires hung from the ceiling, my hunger had suddenly packed its bags and headed to Kenya.

I turned to my girlfriend to exclaim how disturbing yet enthralling the exhibit was only to find her intensely starring at one of the cadavers mid-sections. Without blinking an eye, she turned to me and whispered, “This exhibit is making me hungry for ribs.”

Nervously laughing, I responded that this exhibit would probably put me off ribs for awhile too. In a serious voice, my hungry future bride said “No, seriously, this place is making me really hungry. Do you want to get barbeque tonight?”

Now married, I know never to let my wife skip dinner before going to bed. I’d surely wake up – like the poor souls in Ravenous – missing a few fingers, toes and probably even a few ribs. This flick gets a 3.8 just for being so accurate on cannibalism. Once you get a taste, you can't stop!”

N-Rating: 3.3
Nick Rich burps: “They say hunger is the best spice, and if that is true then Ravenous has plenty of flavor to spare! I won’t lie: this movie wasn’t amazing, nevertheless I found myself thoroughly enjoying it for the unexpected journey it led me on. Some parts were a tad predictable, but for a good portion of the film I was blissfully unaware of what was coming next (which to me is invaluable in a film). This film was unique in the fact that it was made in such a way that I wasn’t constantly attempting to figure out where it was going… I was content to just let it live, er, or die as it were.

Sure there was cheese, but it was that cheese that put me at ease and gave me license to simply enjoy the feast that was laid before me. Sure the tone of the film sat uneasy in your gut like a pinky bone that just won’t digest… but once embraced, the oddities of the film became endearing. The scenery was great, the gore surprisingly sufficient and super-sweet facial hair abounded! My own mountain man beard stirred frequently with excitement at the sight of such luscious follicle facial features (i.e. beards)! This movie was a treat to enjoy… so don’t think, just watch.

The Skinny: Watch this flick if you feel like watching the guy from Stargate Universe eat the guy from Lost, a red shirt from TNG Star Trek and Ferris Buller’s nemesis… or if you’re hungry but on a diet (unless you’re Chris’s wife).”

Quote of the Viewing:
[Scene: On their way back to the cave where the mysterious Colqhoun says a woman waits to be rescued from cannibalism, fort preacher Pvt. Toffler falls down a cliff and is cut on his abdomen. That night in the men’s shared tent, Toffler awakes to find Colqhoun licking his bloody stomach.]
Chris: That is not a good way to make friends, Colqhoun.
Nick: Yeah, usually you need an invitation to lick someone.



Things the RDHP Learned from Watching Ravenous:
-Even in the 1800s mountains, David Arquette can still find a way to get stoned
-If you vomit in the Army, you get sent to California
-When in a pinch, belts make a great dinner
-The more flesh you eat, the hungrier you become
-Don’t send a high-on into town to get a winters worth of food supplies
-The only thing better than bloody finger sniffin’, is bloody finger lickin’

People the RDHP Want to Eat:

Mayor McCheese

(Look at all that cheesy goodness. Plus, we are so sick of his preachy anti-late term abortion platform)

Wisconsin Cheeseheads

(They need to be good for something and have been asking to be put out of their misery since Favre left)

Smurfs

(If it’s good enough for Gargamel, it’s good enough for us!)

Jimmy John

(If he is half as tasty as his subs, we are in business. Plus if we eat him, maybe we will inherit the sub chain)

7-UP Cool Spots

(They just look tasty)

Poppin' Fresh

(We just like to stick our fingers in that little bastard)

 Domino’s The Noid

(If anyone were to give us otherworldly power from consumption, it would be him)

Mr. Peanut

(Insert nuts in mouth joke here)

Geico Gecko
(Exotic meat, and we can save big on our meal cost)

Hurley from Lost
(His pores are just oozing with Dharma ranch dressing)

Shirley Temple
(For dessert. She is just so sweet!)

Worst Place To Be Caught Eating A Corpse:
-On the toilet
-At a funeral
-In the Middle East (can you say stoning?!?!)
-Daycare
-Job Interview
- Inauguration as US President
-DMV (just being here is true horror, but throw in a corpse and ohhhh brother!)
-In a zombie movie (because that would mean you are a corpse)

Film #11: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

Some people have skeletons in their cabinets.
Dr. Caligari has a sodomizer in his.
Oh, I mean a somnambulist. My heavens, we’re just all thumbs on this keyboard today.

According to the fancy word book, a somnambulist is a person plagued with an abnormal condition in which motor acts, such as walking, are performed while asleep.
Emo-boy Cesare is such a sad sack, eternally asleep for the last 23 years and stashed in a wooden cabinet in the 1920 film “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”. Cesare’s caretaker is the evil Dr. Caligari, a psychiatrist who has kept Cesare in this state in order to exploit his freakiness during public sideshow stage acts.
Seems the Doctor can awaken Cesare from his slumber just long enough to predict the future of any rum-dum in the audience willing to part with a dime. When a non-descript German town decides to throw a fair, Caligari sees the perfect chance to exploit his boy in a box.

Francis and Alan are two rum-dum townsfolk looking for a good time, and while attending the fair wander into Caligari’s somnambulist tent. During his performance, Cesare makes eyes at Alan and declares he will die in just one day, a premonition that comes true when Alan turns up murdered in his bed. Seems he was repeatedly penetrated by a pointy object, and somnambulist Cesare is instantly suspected.
In fact, all sorts of peeps are turning up dead or abducted ever since that damn fair came into town! When Francis’s insta-girlfriend goes missing, it is on like donkey kong. Francis and the police join forces to solve the crimes in the trippy 1920s silent film “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.”



The Low-Down:
Clap. Clap. Clap. Just when we had given up hope on the silent horror movie genre, in walks Caligari with his cabinet. Silent movies can only show, not tell their stories. This can sometimes be their downfall. But in The Cabinet of Caligari, it is its biggest redeeming quality. The German made Caligari “shows” with expert precision, as each frame is crafted to look as if the characters live in a nightmarish cartoon. Think about a Tim Burton movie, with its crazy angles, geometric shapes, strange set design, and abstract art cinematography. If Tim Burton was a student of German Expressionism, the makers of Caligari would be his master. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari Tim Burtons out Tim Burton movies!

The visuals are stunning. Everything is askew in each frame, and lighting is used in a way the RDHP has not seen since in a film. Long stretches of white light mix with paint to cast the set far into the distance. Crazy paper-looking forests rise up in the background. And this is 1920, people! It’s old… I mean, it’s just so… old. But yet so new. This is the oldest movie the RDHP will view during our cinematic time-traveling adventure. It is very surprising that the oldest movie on our docket would also be one of the cinematically freshest.

Each scene was set up more like a play than a movie, the characters gliding across the set as the camera stays stationary. Silent movies are so calming, typically. Maybe it is the slow movements of the actors or the never ending symphony of the soundtrack, but there is just something about these cracked relics that send instant sensations of serenity to its viewers. Caligari bucked this trend, however. It was just too insane to be calming. Each scene enthralls a viewer, its askew backdrops and props keeping you slightly off kilter throughout the picture -- as if walking through a German funhouse.

This movie was way ahead of its time, even down to the non-traditional ending that must have had 1920s folks doing spit-takes. Somnambulist jokes aside, if you only watch one silent movie in your life, let it be The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. It’s one hot injection of fun straight to your erogenous movie holes (your eyes, people, your eyes)!


RDHP Ratings:
C-rating: 4.5
Chris Dimick sleep-talks. “The movie is motion picture art. It’s official, Caligari has become by far my favorite silent movie. Unlike Cesare, not only didn’t I fall asleep ONCE during this enthralling quiet tale I actually found myself wishing for more movie at its conclusion. If I were comparing this against all other silent films, I would give it a perfect 5 rating. But, as a rule the RDHP compare films against all other films between 1920 and 2010. Therefore .5 points must be deducted for various reasons (time isn’t kind to beauty).
Such a creepy tone is set throughout the film. Silent films have a way of being inherently creepy, actually. All the people have ghost white faces. They mime everything all weird in their acting delivery. And the flickers and scratches on the film prints always makes me think of those creepy Nine Inch Nails videos from the 1990s.
Caligari takes silent film creepiness to a whole new level. Dr. Caligari’s head looks like some sort of pig-wart. Then you have Cesare, a rail-thin German man in a skin-tight leotard and dark eye makeup. Shutter!
The performances are creepy great, but it is the set that truly sets the horrific tone. Every scene is explicitly crafted with amazing scenery. Yet while visually stunning, Caligari doesn’t just depend on its looks to find a date. In a way, it also explores how thin the line is between reality and insanity, and how experience is relative to the mind of the beholder. Sexy and smart!? I’m takin’ it home to mama. The ‘Krauts have done it again!"

N-rating: 4.5
Nick Rich sleep-talks: “Chris stole my saying! I was totally going to remark that this film was more Tim Burton than Tim Burton! How ever shall I recover from the sting of this usurping of wit?!? Ahhhh, yes, I’ll just apply the sweet salve that is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari to my wounded ego… that’s better!
This film was so amazing that beyond it’s awesomeness it also ushered in a RDHP first: Chris and I gave a film the same score! Such is the beautifully dark and magical film that is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Major props to our steadfast follower Jim who recommended this film!
Note: For our attentive readers, yes, I gave this film the same score as Nosferatu, but if you recall I graded that film on a curve (giving it a 4.5 adjusted and a 3.0 in Nick watch-ability). Dr. Caligari requires no such affirmative action!
At first the schizo-scenery in Dr. Caligari feels a bit strange (as I imagine a descent into madness would), but as the film progresses you find yourself eagerly wanting to see new and more disturbing backdrops (again, as I imagine a descent into madness would feel like)! I found myself confused at times, but didn’t seem to mind as it felt natural in the context of the film. Speaking of natural, rest assured dear readers that the sleepwear of the featured fair maiden was realistic; however, I found it hard to believe that the men folk slept in their day-clothes! If they weren’t sleeping in them and took the time to get dressed while the maiden was being kidnapped then shame on them! If you can’t throw decorum out the window when faced with a home invasion, when can you?
A great film will take you on a journey you didn’t think of, didn’t want to go on and never expected… and Dr. Caligari does this in spades. Such a film makes you wonder what Hollywood has been doing for the past 90 years that it can’t come up with something more original and engaging!
The Skinny: Watch this film if you’re feeling Emo about movies today… slather on tons of hair product a-la-Tim Burton, mutter complaints through your tears and enjoy the wonder that is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.”


Great Moments in German Expressionism:
German Expressionism was a huge movement in art, culminating in the 1920s. In post-WWI German reconstruction, the film industry was booming. But with a general lack of funding, it was hard for German filmmakers to compete with the lush budgets of American films.
The first Expressionist films made up for these money-problems by using set designs with wildly non-realistic, geometrically absurd sets, along with designs painted on walls and floors to represent lights, shadows, and objects. The plots and stories of the Expressionist films often dealt with madness, insanity, betrayal, and other "intellectual" topics, as opposed to standard action-adventure and romantic films.
In short, German Expressionism was about the dark fringes of the human experience. It can be both brilliant, and, in retrospect, hilarious!
Below, the RDHP explores various high-points in German Expressionism:

ART

STAGE

FILM

TELEVISION

Quote of the Viewing:
Nick: There is not very much talking in this movie.
Chris: Yeah, it is pretty silent.
Nick: We should write Netflix and complain their sound sucks.

Honorable mention Quotes of the Viewing:
[Scene: Dr. Caligari opens up his somnambulist exhibit to a crowd of on-lookers]
Chris: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Cesare the Sodomizer, only 10 cents!
Nick: Step right up kids!

[Scene: Cesare is fed a pudding mixture while sleeping in his cabinet]
Nick: So, he can eat while he is sleeping?
Chris: He must’ve taken some Ambien.

Things in the RDHP’s Cabinets:
Feces-filled mason jars
Uncle Ben’s Insta-Rice
The Boogieman
Naked photos of Whoopi Goldberg
30 year collection of TV Guide magazines
Ryan Seacrest's sexuality
Stacks and stacks of romantic mix tapes
Bugs

RDHP Salutes the Year 1920!
This is the oldest movie the RDHP will screen as part of the horror project. In honor, a look at other happenings of the year 1920.

Jan. 1st – The Jazz Age begins:

Jan. 3rd - NY Yankees purchase Babe Ruth from Red Sox for $125,000

Jan. 10th - League of Nations established

Jan. 12th – Alabama secedes from the Union, rejoins when sex-with-siblings legalized:

Jan. 13th - Sex-with-siblings law reversed

Jan. 13th - NY Times editorial reports rockets can never fly:

Jan. 16th - 18th Amendment, prohibition, goes into effect:

Jan. 20th - The American Civil Liberties Union is founded

Jan. 29th - Walt Disney starts first job as an artist; $40 week with KC Slide Co:

April 20th - Tornadoes kill 219 in Alabama and Mississippi; Preachers blame sex-with-siblings law:

May 20th - Policemen raid the Cubs' bleachers and arrest 24 fans for gambling

June 13th - Post Office says children could not be sent by parcel post:

July 26 – Aliens invade Washington D.C. Thwarted by invisible germs

Aug. 18th - Tennessee ratifies 19th Amendment, guarantees women voting right

Aug. 19th - First Tennessee woman beat for "being all uppity" after voting:

Sept. 17th - National Football League organizes in Canton, Ohio. Twelve teams pay $100 each to join American Professional Football Association

Nov. 2nd - Warren G Harding elected president

Nov. 3rd - Dick Cheney receives first steam-powered heart transplant

Nov. 15th - Free City of Danzig forms under League of Nations protection:

Dec. 12 – The phrase “hot enough for ya” first uttered: